Becoming Sensational by Kurt Larsson

“You never go sightseeing in your own town”. Old Proverb

Have you noticed how much easier to observe, judge and offer advice to someone else than it is to take it in yourself?

It seems easier to tell someone else what to do than to have someone tell you what to do, doesn’t it? Look at the following questions:

  • Do I like to see myself on video?
  • Do I like to hear a recording of my voice?
  • Do I like to get unsolicited advice, especially when it addresses something I already know can be better?

For most of us the answer is NO to these and many other questions having to do with looking within ourselves.

Yet, if you look at the state of the world today, maybe it is time to start this exploration in earnest. If you look at how our schools are run, how the media is run, how our governments are run, how even our families and communities are run, most everyone in power seems to stay there based upon their ability to tell others what to do and how to live. Most of us have been conditioned to accept that authority without question.

What if telling others what to do without first inquiring if it is OK with those affected distinguishes management today from leadership? What if the true leader invites, encourages and attracts you as a follower without force or threat? The world needs both managers and leaders, but how often are we managed when all involved would profit from being led?

What if one of most distinguishing factors of a true leader when, compared to a typical manager, is their desire and ability to look within before speaking without?

In other words, before they offer advice they check to see if they are ready, willing and able to do whatever they are about to recommend, themselves.

This also happens to be the sign of a great coach, when he/she checks first within before recommending a solution their client. What if this is where authentic and attractive power lies? This practically demonstrates that you are open and vulnerable to others. If you have been following this blog, you already know the use of the word vulnerable here is intentional and has nothing to do with being weak.

There are many among us that have become ”master debaters” when it comes to justifying, excusing and often defending their behavior; even when it is obvious that it will damage themselves or others. How often have you:

  • Had someone with a weight problem explain categorically why your suggestion to somehow eat less and exercise more will NOT work for them?
  • Been told all the reasons why you are wrong when you tell someone that they look very nice or healthy?
  • Been invited into a debate when suggesting a smoker stop smoking.
  • Heard that yet another new tax is good for you and the economy?
  • That limiting your freedom is the only way to insure a safe and secure society?

What may be lacking here is the speaker’s ability to take a moment and reflect upon the consequences of their suggestion. This is best done before automatically reacting with all the reasons, justifications, excuses and defenses that they have trained with to defend themselves and their position. Taking that ever so precious deep, reflective breath and that important pause to contemplate what really is at stake before responding may be the deciding factor in whether you are now a human being or a human doing.

What if Human Doings just do without really exploring within and weighing the Ripple effect of the consequences of their words and actions?

A few years ago The Winner of the World Cup in Sauna Bathing was declared after his challenger died from the heat. At the time of victory this Finn had third degree burns on most of his body It would be interesting to hear his reflections on how much of that victory was stubborn, automatic pride compared to reflective reasoning.

YES! Much of what we have accomplished as a culture does have to do with being unreasonable and ignoring the consequences to yourself and society. Going to the moon is not a reasonable endeavour, but it worked. Yet, it may be time to ask and reflect over how can we learn to get quickly back to balance after straying so far from it?

What if the answer to this lies within your own heart and not from the distant intellect of someone intent upon managing you and your life?

Below are some tips to help you gain more access to your inner self:

  • Train to be present to what is happening around you here and now
  • Breathe more and feel what it means to be alive instead of up in your thoughts
  • Practice taking a conscious and enjoyable pause between receiving some stimulus and responding to it. Let people know you heard them.
  • Ask more questions, listen with all your senses and respect each answers
  • Distinguish your feelings from your thoughts and balance them.
  • Become more consequential and look at each consequence from outside of yourself and how it will both directly and eventually affect others.
  • Engage others in your surroundings paying close attention to how they respond to you and how you behave with them. What can you learn from this?
  • Meditate, even just by looking at a soft flame or a calm pond for a few minutes.
  • Get a coach or at least access to someone you can use as a sounding board.
  • Become more aware of your body, it’s unique language and how it affects others.

Practicing the above will go a long way to making you a sensational human being who is more and more capable of sensing and interacting with what is happening around you.

If you are very interested in how to become more aware of yourself and how other’s experience you, it may be woithwhile attending the Body Harmony workshop being given in Stockholm in June, 2013. More information on this event or on next one happening close to you is available here:

About The Author


I am fascinated with what makes us humans ”tick”, especially when it comes to how we consciously communicate and express ourselves with our body language. My business background is in international sales and sales management, selling everything from automobile tires in Houston, Tx, to retail banking delivery systems in 20 countries. I have graduated from CoachU’s 3 year Coach Training program, been certified as an Extended DISC consultant and become a Certified International Body Harmony Teacher with over 20 years of ”hands-on” experience in bodywork. This rich and varied background combined with over 20 years of being an entrepreneur has blessed me with insights and experiences I never would have noticed in the corporate world. Mainstream business now seems to be waking up to the riches available from more conscious and responsible business practices. Expanding Understanding’s Sensational Soft Skills Toolbox , the books I have written and training I have developed now provide savvy decision makers and their colleagues measurable results and a more restful night's sleep. These tools provide an edge in consciously understanding, deliberately using and profiting from the most powerful communication tool available, our bodies. I look forward to meeting you on this path to mastery in non verbal communication.

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