Resignation Or Inspiration

Pass by any preschool or elementary school and enjoy the energy that is on display. More often than not every child present is expressing themselves fully and completely. There is no question whether or not the child is happy or sad, its all there to enjoy and experience. Now take a seat on a bus or train during rush hour. Notice a difference?

Something happens to us on our journey towards adulthood. Some may say that we ”mature” others may not be so kind. What is obvious is that we begin holding back our feelings and emotions while shuffling back and forth to work. If you want to get a taste of the emotion resignation, chances are you will not have to wait too long to see it. It is that polite, but heavy look in a person’s face where they look as if they do not see the point in what they are doing with their life. It is usually accompanied by a slow and almost mournful shuffling of the feet accompanied by a distant stare that feels like a ”Tresspassers will be shot” sign. It is almost as if they are saying, leave me alone, I want to enjoy my misery by myself. It just doesn’t look healthy.

Evidence would suggest that the more ”mature” we get, the less signs of life we exhibit. Although this is not always the case, thank heavens, even usually peppy people often don’t look so peppy when sitting by themselves or when surrounded by strangers. Herein may hide a clue. As you place a friend next to this person, something magical usually happens. They begin to look happier. Now this maybe a facade and internally they may be just as down as they were before, but outwardly they look happier. Interestingly, it has been shown that smiling, whether it is due to moving a few muscles around on your face or sourcing it from deep within your heart, has the same healing effect on your body. You become inspired and actually begin to release endorphins into your system that help you feel better. All this happens because you choose to interact with someone.

There is an old saying that ”misery loves company”. Even in the situation where two people are complaining about all their woes usually feel better when they are finished. This process has been discovered to have a cleansing effect on your mind. Just being able to ventilate to someone sort of works like a good spring cleaning, opening up and airing out a dusty house for the first time since winter.

Now, take it a step further. What if you actually began practicing talking to others and interacting more with people around you? What could it do:

  • For your communication skills?
  • To your health and well being?
  • To your state of mind?
  • To the other person’s state of mind?

What if you started to connect with people and share what is going on with you as a human being instead of just reporting on the weather and your day at the office?

There used to be a tradition of having dinner together and talking about the days events, reflecting upon what happened and sharing any insights you may have observed. According to Dr. Alexander Parsky of Stockholm’s Karolinska Institute, this reflection time is needed by the body before it can get a good nights rest. He maintains that this reflection time has been replaced with more work time. The result is a massive increase of sleeping disorders.

So what does this have to do with communication? The question may be better framed as what does it NOT have to do with communication? The more we communicate with other people and share pieces of our life, the better we seem to feel. As a presenter your focus should be to create a lively atmosphere where all voices can be heard. The more we have room to discuss and share our views, values and opinions, the more we will ultimately begin to understand one another. So here’s to you taking the first step and initiating a conversation with someone you know or maybe even don’t know. Notice afterward if you feel better or worse for having done so.

Kurt Larsson is the CEO of Expanding Understanding an educational consulting company based in Stockholm, Sweden. Expanding U is dedicated to providing Sensational Soft Skills in the form of tools, tips and training to make you a more powerful and understood communicator.

Kurt has been training decision makers for the past 15 years and doing business internationally, in over 20 countries, for the past 25. His career has spanned selling tires in Texas, to selling retail banking delivery systems in most of Europe and most recently to being the Swedish sales and marketing director of one of Northern Europe’s largest Gold Bullion retailers. He loves to travel, learn and share his experience with any and all who will listen and want to ”contribute their own verse”. He is now a certified Body Harmony Teacher with 15 years of ”hands-on” experience of working with individual and group body language. He is also a successful executive coach.

None of what is written in this blog is the absolute truth and very little of the contents are purely original. The interpretations and musings posted here are offered in the spirit of inspiring you to be more curious, to listen with all your senses, to calmly reflect and to encourage you to excel at whatever you do that makes our world a little better.

About The Author

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I am fascinated with what makes us humans ”tick”, especially when it comes to how we consciously communicate and express ourselves with our body language. My business background is in international sales and sales management, selling everything from automobile tires in Houston, Tx, to retail banking delivery systems in 20 countries. I have graduated from CoachU’s 3 year Coach Training program, been certified as an Extended DISC consultant and become a Certified International Body Harmony Teacher with over 20 years of ”hands-on” experience in bodywork. This rich and varied background combined with over 20 years of being an entrepreneur has blessed me with insights and experiences I never would have noticed in the corporate world. Mainstream business now seems to be waking up to the riches available from more conscious and responsible business practices. Expanding Understanding’s Sensational Soft Skills Toolbox , the books I have written and training I have developed now provide savvy decision makers and their colleagues measurable results and a more restful night's sleep. These tools provide an edge in consciously understanding, deliberately using and profiting from the most powerful communication tool available, our bodies. I look forward to meeting you on this path to mastery in non verbal communication.

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