Sensational Selling with Conscious Body Language, by Kurt Larsson

Sensational  Selling with Conscious Body Language, by Kurt Larsson

Handshake smallWhether the transaction involves money or not, to get someone to purchase what you are selling you need to convince everyone that the value you offer is worth the price you are asking. One of the biggest contributions to this desired outcome is conscious, powerful and attractive body language. In my soon to be released book, “Sensational Presentation Skills” (on Amazon) many examples are provided of how conscious body language is a very valuable tool when you are presenting. Do the same concerns apply when you are selling?

First off, who sells?
If you include such things as asking someone out for dinner, deciding who gets to take out the garbage and getting your children to clean their rooms, then just about everyone does. Yet, how many times have you heard from someone that they do not like to or cannot sell? Have you noticed those who say they cannot are usually incredibly convincing? A tragic example of this are some long-term unemployed people who become experts on why they are absolutely unemployable! Granted, they probably have evidence to support this expertise, but, what if they could train more to redirect their energy and enthusiasm into continuing to seek employment?

Whether or not we are aware of it, studies show that our cells are in constant conversation with each other. This is both internally within your own body as well as externally with everyone around you. There was a study done many years ago where subjects were observed through a one way mirror. The observers were told to focus upon different parts of each subject’s body as they walked back and forth in front of the mirror. The subjects were wired up to temperature sensors and when the observers were told to focus upon the subject’s right thumb, for instance, it would always register a distinct rise in temperature. Subconsciously, we are communicating on many other levels and should part of us agree or disagree with what we are saying, those listening can sense it on some level. Therefore, the more congruent and authentic you and your message are, the more convincing your message will become and the more we can consciously create “agreements that stick™“.

Mixed messages:
About ten years ago, the Swedish minister of business announced on the evening news that the Swedish and Norwegian Telephone companies were going to merge. In front of all the video cameras he said the words, ”we have reached an agreement.” Yet, while his mouth said this, his eyes closed and his head moved side to side in total contradiction of his chosen message. Five months later the news finally reported that there was no deal. A mixed message is a polite way of saying either that the person speaking is not telling the full truth or that the words being said by the mouth do not agree with the language of the body. It seems to be a physiological fact that the body can hide the truth, but it lacks the capacity to lie. The more conscious we are of this, the more we can learn to speak the truth as well as detect it in others. Below are some mixed message giveaways:

A change in the amount and rhythm of someone’s breathing when an uncomfortable question is posed

The speaker’s eyes rolling up to the left to help access the left (creative) side of the brain and create an appropriate, believable answer.

The speaker’s hands brushing his face to ”clean” himself of something said that wasn’t completely true.

Looking away when answering a question rather than looking directly into the questioner’s eyes.

The speaker giving a judgmental stare, and tightening the skin and muscles around his eyes while beginning to aggressively defend what he has just stated as the truth.

These are just a few examples of how we have learned to deceive others with everything from little white lies to total fabrications. All too often our listening is often so focused upon the content of what is being said that we completely miss these signs of a less than truthful delivery that, even if the content is true, weakens our ability to be believed by others.

What if the question of whether it is worth bending or disregarding the truth to sell something is becoming more and more costly? Isn’t the sales profession stressful enough without having to remember precisely what you said to whom? Now that the world is becoming more connected and with more and more of our lives being recorded on camera, there is an increasing chance of getting caught in a fabrication that can have costly professional and even legal consequences. For those of us with a conscience, this represents the opportunity and justification to speak more clearly, honestly and earn a more restful night’s sleep.

So what can we do about this?
First of all, it is now more important than ever to really know and stand for those products and services you provide. If you cannot, you may want to consider switching to sell something in which you have more faith. Once you have a product, service or message you believe in, then it you can focus on your delivery.

Behavior patterns:
Most of the time we are on autopilot. Our brains and physiology are designed to develop habits (neural patterns and pathways) so that we can use our presence for more pressing challenges here and now. The problem is that we sometime develop patterns that totally contradict what it is we want to communicate. The more we can identify these patterns that detract from our goal, the more those that keep us aimed in the desired direction will be strengthened. Some quick tips are:

– Learn to observe and adjust your body language in a mirror so that any nervous or incongruent signals are neutralized or adjusted.

Take a deep calm breath and relax when delivering your message.

Adapt an open and inviting posture that does not seek to hide any inconvenient truths, such as keeping your hands visible and away from each other in an open and inviting way.

Smile, relax your face and maintain eye contact in a way that encourages open interaction rather than suspicion and judgement.

Open up your chest, spread and relax your shoulders to make yourself a larger and more inviting target.

Ask questions allowing your listener to reflect over what you are proposing

Invite them to ultimately make the decision to buy or not.

What if it is no longer enough to just sell something? What if it more is important to create a loyal customer that can warmly, spontaneously (and cost effectively) recommend you, your product and your company? The more you can align your body language to provide a clean, authentic and attractive message the more successful you will become. Why?

You will develop a reputation for integrity that attracts more business to you and your firm. You may not make every sale, but those you do make will ripple out and attract more interest from the type of people with which you enjoy doing business. Now, don’t believe me. Test it and see if it works in a way that generates more profitable and sustainable business and a better night’s sleep.

For more information on how you can incorporate more Sensational Soft Skills into your selling activities, please contact us at info(at)

About The Author


I am fascinated with what makes us humans ”tick”, especially when it comes to how we consciously communicate and express ourselves with our body language. My business background is in international sales and sales management, selling everything from automobile tires in Houston, Tx, to retail banking delivery systems in 20 countries. I have graduated from CoachU’s 3 year Coach Training program, been certified as an Extended DISC consultant and become a Certified International Body Harmony Teacher with over 20 years of ”hands-on” experience in bodywork. This rich and varied background combined with over 20 years of being an entrepreneur has blessed me with insights and experiences I never would have noticed in the corporate world. Mainstream business now seems to be waking up to the riches available from more conscious and responsible business practices. Expanding Understanding’s Sensational Soft Skills Toolbox , the books I have written and training I have developed now provide savvy decision makers and their colleagues measurable results and a more restful night's sleep. These tools provide an edge in consciously understanding, deliberately using and profiting from the most powerful communication tool available, our bodies. I look forward to meeting you on this path to mastery in non verbal communication.

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