Strike your chord of ease, efficiency and enjoyment, By Kurt Larsson

Strike your chord of ease, efficiency and enjoyment, By Kurt Larsson

“Congruence”, from The Oxford on-line dictionary means ”in agreement, harmony”

iStock_000016593834XSmallTake a moment and think of all those people you admire. Is who they are, what they stand for, what they do and accomplish; all congruent?

Chances are that all their thoughts, words and deeds are more in line and pointed towards what they value and stand for than yours are. This simple, but powerful truth is just now beginning to make more than just intellectual sense to me. Yep, what a great concept!
Now look around and notice how many of your fellow humans are really ”walking their talk” in reality.

It has been calculated that if all the fish caught in the net of one of those factory ships were to swim in the same direction, they could pull the ship where they wanted. Also, one of the most tested and successful strategies used by all successful warlords is to divide and conquer their enemies. Just observe at any bully in any situation. One of their most effective tools is to surprise their victim and keep them ”off balance”.
Yet, even with the power these external forces have to keep us in a state of non-congruence, it still seems that the biggest impediment to living congruently we have is ourselves.

Whether it is in form of:

  • Sleeping “just a few more minutes” when you decided to wake up early.
  • Taking just one more slice of cake when you’ve declared yourself on a diet.
  • Yelling at your child for yelling at someone
  • Going to work when you feel worse than sick
  • Saying one thing yet meaning another
  • Politely saying yes when you are thinking ”Hell NO!”.

or perpetrating any other form of a ”mixed message”, do you feel or see yourself getting closer towards or further away from being congruent to what you truly value? Doing the above out of some insatiable need may be your justification for doing it, but does it make you feel better? Does it help you sleep more soundly?

Anybody familiar with proficient bodywork and body language understands that even though your words may,  ”Your body does not have the Capacity to Lie”. Somewhere, somehow your body will express your inner truth, regardless of how well you think you are camouflaging it. Even with the best body language coach in the world, a former president of the USA could not help looking away from the camera and wrinkling up the skin between his eyes when asked if he had sex with an intern. A former business minister in Sweden turned his head from side to side while shutting his eyes when he announced to the cameras that two large Scandinavian Telecoms companies had finally ”reached an agreement”. His words said yes, but his unconscious ”no” gesture revealed the truth. Just five months later the deal was scrapped. Yet, we humans continue to avoid expressing our truths.

Below are a few of many reasons that we often choose being non-congruent over congruent.

  • Fear from both rational and often irrational thoughts of what may happen
  • Pride, we want to look good even when looking good can oblige us to sacrifice our integrity.
  • Tradition, You do not want to let your parents down. After all doing this ”is good for you”.  Not only that, your parents and grandparents have always done so.
  • Control, ”If I don’t say this then they might not do what I want them to do in the future”.
  • Routine, ”We have always done it this way, why change now?”
  • Resignation “I have to because my… insisted”.
  • Personal Gain although often in only the short-term.
  • “I have no idea why…”


The Risk:
What if what you are saying or doing is fundamentally at odds with what you value?
Every time you choose not to be congruent it creates stress somewhere in your physiology. Stress, in turn, creates friction and wears down some part of your body or mind. Even if you don’t feel it right away the effects often accumulate. The older you get, the more the effects become apparent both in your behavior as well as in your overall health. For instance there is more and more evidence being gathered that a contributing factor to cancer is not expressing yourself fully and withholding your emotions. It takes energy to do keep things bottled up and that energy needs a release somewhere, somehow, sometime.

Becoming congruent
Via my own adventure I now understand that most everybody reading this blog will understand intellectually what being congruent means. Yet, implementing it into your life is a whole other dimension. That decision may and probably will unleash a number of inconvenient truths to both you and your nearest and dearest.
Yet what is the payoff?

The Reward
It takes much less energy to live and express yourself in line with those values you hold dear. Some other rewards can be:

  • You can express yourself more freely and easily not having to worry about what you said to whom, for fear of revealing something.
  • You can express yourself more powerfully as more of your cells will be able to resonate your truth when you express it. You will be believed more.
  • People will dare to trust you more as the number of hidden agendas (conscious and unconscious) decrease as does their value and utility.
  • You will sleep better. You can let what you said go as it is always in line with what you stand for and therefore you will say it again, if ever asked.
  • You will feel better as the amount of stress and energy expenced from having to monitor what you say and do will decrease drastically
  • You will have more fun and energy as what you value will become a clearer and more powerful part of your life than what you think you need.
  • Your self-esteem will rise as you empower more self-generated-confidence.


How is it done?
Good coaching is a great start. Just getting someone to listen to you and ask you all those questions you have been avoiding has both a confronting as well as a cleansing effect. It is confronting as you will clearly see your reflection in the mirror from your honest answers and will become conscious of the consequences your non-congruent behavior has produced. Cleansing because once you choose to leave those behaviors that are not congruent with what you stand for, you will lift a giant psychological as well as physiological burden from your shoulders.

Body Harmony® is an even more effective way to deal with becoming more conguent. Just take a few Body Harmony sessions. With the help of your practitioner you will discover where in your body those ”Issues in your Tissues” actually reside.  Then you will have the chance to easily, efficiently and enjoyably accept, discharge or adjust them. All the energy you were previously using to control and avoid those behaviors and emotions will now be available to support what you value and enjoy in life.

How will your life look then?

For more information on discovering and manifesting what you and/or your company value more clearly, getting some congruency coaching, or taking some Body Harmony Sessions please contact us here.

ONE WEEK LEFT to sign up for the entire Autumn Body Harmony Base Course Series in Stockholm. There is still a few spaces left!

©Kurt Larsson 2013, all rights reserved. Yet you are encouraged to link to this blogpost if it inspires you.

About The Author


I am fascinated with what makes us humans ”tick”, especially when it comes to how we consciously communicate and express ourselves with our body language. My business background is in international sales and sales management, selling everything from automobile tires in Houston, Tx, to retail banking delivery systems in 20 countries. I have graduated from CoachU’s 3 year Coach Training program, been certified as an Extended DISC consultant and become a Certified International Body Harmony Teacher with over 20 years of ”hands-on” experience in bodywork. This rich and varied background combined with over 20 years of being an entrepreneur has blessed me with insights and experiences I never would have noticed in the corporate world. Mainstream business now seems to be waking up to the riches available from more conscious and responsible business practices. Expanding Understanding’s Sensational Soft Skills Toolbox , the books I have written and training I have developed now provide savvy decision makers and their colleagues measurable results and a more restful night's sleep. These tools provide an edge in consciously understanding, deliberately using and profiting from the most powerful communication tool available, our bodies. I look forward to meeting you on this path to mastery in non verbal communication.

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